you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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