dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
