Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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