I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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