five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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