My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
