You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
