; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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