Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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