So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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