Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
