I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize