Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
