just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
