...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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