thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
