I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
