I love black thongs
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
