I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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