Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize