i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
