i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
