Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
