I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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