Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
