you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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