I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
