just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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