"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize