is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
