Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
