took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i out mim tonsoeep
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
