Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
