please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
