I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
