dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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