Your dad touched me again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
