Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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