I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
