shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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