My sheets look like a crime scene.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
