apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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