just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
