So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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