she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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