Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
