You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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