if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
