No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
