the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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