Walk of Shame. In a state park.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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