Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
