How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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