i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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