Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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