You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize