tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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