So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
