Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
