those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
